Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween again, and this year it falls on a Friday, which is always fun. I remember how hard it was as a little kid to get excited about going out trick-or-treating, and then the letdown of having to go to school the next day. I know a lot of people have wild and crazy Halloween plans involving drunk escapades and skimpy costumes, but my plans are a bit more tame this year. My sister is coming over to my mom's house with her three kids (ages 2, 4, and 6), and Uncle D and I are taking them trick-or-treating while my mom and sister stay behind and prepare dinner, hand out candy, and drink wine. We did this last year, and it was actually SO much fun. I love getting to see how excited the kids get, how cool they think it is that Uncle D is taking them out, and how they carefully filter through their candy, separating the good from the bad, trying to trade with one another, and figuring out how to gorge on as much as they can before their mom takes it away for the night.

Tomorrow morning is another 6am long run (7 miles this Saturday), so that is a small part of my tame Halloween plans. I was forced to miss last weekend's long run because of work, and I'll be forced to miss next weekend's as well. I've gotten back on track with my weekly runs this week, but I still feel like I have a long way to go, and a lot to make up. I'm going to try my hardest to stick with the program as best I can from now till marathon day. Life comes up, but I need to make this a priority. The fundraising has been the easy part for me. People have been so incredibly generous, but I need to remember the commitment that I made to follow through by taking on this challenge and doing more than just asking people for money. I want to be a living example of the good that comes from their donations. Not only am I back in good health, but I'm attempting to get in the best shape of my life, motivated by wanting to do better and be more in my post-cancer life.

I'll turn off those musings for a while. Needless to say, I've been getting down on myself lately for letting myself slack. I just need to keep remembering why I am doing this, and no matter how hard it might seem, it's nothing compared to what I have been through.

Anyway, Sunday is a joint birthday party for nephew Charlie (who just turned 5), and niece Ann-Marie (who turns 3 in November). Uncle D and I have some birthday gift shopping to do. It's tough getting stuff for kids who seem to have every toy known to man. Maybe we'll just end up getting the fun toys we want, and then making excuses to go over there and play with them :).

Sleep Deprived

Honestly, the one week of my brief work career that I really need sleep.... and it's not going so well.

D and I are taking care of my mom's dog since she is out of town for a couple of days. Fine, Lucy is quite adorable, but also very needy. She normally sleeps on my mother's bed, basically on top of her. She craves human contact and gets scared of everything, including the dark. Well, last night she fell asleep downstairs and woke up around 2am. She proceeded to start barking and howling from downstairs in an effort to get someones attention. This woke me from an already restless sleep (I'm dreaming of work). I think both D and I tried to ignore it, until it became unignorable (not a word, but I'm making it one!). I went to the top of the stairs and began yelling at her to come up, which she eventually did, and she finally shut up.

Unfortunately, I was wide awake after that. D fell back to sleep, but I went to the other room with my computer to watch tv online and try to make myself tired again. It did not work. It's now 9:25am, and I have been awake since 2am. Tomorrow morning I'll be up at 6am to set up for our Sunday walk, and Sunday I have to wake up at 3:30am to arrive at 4:45am. Sigh. Sweet, sweet sleep, you will be out of my reach until next week.

I'm doing alright otherwise, the weather is starting to cool down, and it's pretty exciting. It means another mild Texas winter is almost upon us, Halloween is coming up, Thanksgiving after that, and then Christmas! This year D and I are spending Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine, since we are beginning the tradition of flip flopping it every year. And then..... it's going to be time for the half-marathon! It blows my mind that it's so close. I ran for the first time in the chill last night (I can't quite call it cold, but it was chilly). It was an interesting experience. My throat got very dry and slightly pained, so I need to adapt.

It's a busy day in the office, so I'd better get to it!

A weekend on my own

Anyone who knows D and I know that we generally spend most of our time together, especially on weekends, since life can get really busy during the week. However, this weekend he came home on Friday night and said a few of his buddies were planning on driving down to NOLA to gamble, drink, and engage in various other boy behavior. I was invited along, but I had things on my calendar, and plus, I would have been the one girl in the middle of a sausage-fest, which wouldn't have been fun for me, and it probably would have tempered the mood for the gentlemen. So, he took off for a trip without me, and I got to spend the weekend on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with D. I planning on marrying him, so clearly I consider him worthy of my time. But it was SOOOOOO nice to be able to do what I wanted without having to take someone else into consideration. Friday night was pretty chill for me, since I was supposed to run 6 miles on Saturday morning. Well, somewhere Friday night, my stomach decided it had different plans for me, so the Saturday morning run didn't happen. I spent the day in bed watching the Sex and the City movie, as well as other girly shows that D won't watch with me, and it was awesome. I rallied enough to go to the Dynamos game Saturday night with a group. It was an awesome game, Dynamos won, and somehow I ended up at the 'quis till 2 am. Ooops!

Sunday morning I slept in, lounged in bed for a while, read a book, watched more tv, and basically vegetated. D returned home Sunday evening with presents for me from NOLA, and it was so good to see him. I rarely get the chance to actually miss him since we are always together, but it's a nice reminder of how much I love this man and enjoy and count on his presence in my life.

This week is going to be insanity. My organization is holding one of their fall walk fundraisers this weekend, so I'm going to be working from today through Halloween without a day off. I get tired just thinking about it, but hopefully everything will go smoothly.

I have lots of other things I have wanted to post about including the Presidential Debates, Sarah Palin on SNL, Mark Wahlberg talking to animals, and my newfound love of Paul Mitchell Skinny Serum, but the saltmines are calling me!

The aftermath

I feel like I have been operating at half speed this week. Last weekend was definitely tough. It was very hard to say goodbye to my yia yia, and it hit me a lot harder than I expected. By the time Saturday night rolled around, I could barely keep my head up, I was so mentally and physically exhausted. I slept for about 12 hours that night, and it was that kind of dreamless sleep. I think I woke up in the same position I had fallen asleep in.

I've been getting back on my running schedule. Note to self: deviating from running schedule means intense pain and suffering when you get back on. These runs that were becoming easier for me in weeks prior have turned into tortuous exercises. It's kind of getting me down, but I keep trying to remind myself that I just have to stick with it, stay on schedule, and it will get better. This weekend we have an 8 mile run, and it's scaring me crapless. I'm trying not to psych myself out, because that just makes things worse, but I'm still terrified. I just don't want to feel like I am failing.

In totally shallow hair news, My hair has gotten to the point where I can straighten it and wear it down without a headband. This feels like a huge victory for me. I'm even able to kind of pull it into the world's tinest ponytail when I run, with the aid of a running headband, and 5,000 bobby pins. Kind of exciting!

My grandmother

My grandmother passed away on Tuesday morning at the age of 94. My yia yia (the word for grandmother in Greek), was an incredible lady who lived a full life, and I cannot believe she is gone.

She was a tiny little lady, but so full of strength. She loved her family, her friends, and her church. She married the love of her life, and spent 63 years with him before he passed away 5 years ago. She traveled the world, moved to a new country and started a life with her family, and embraced everyone she came across. My grandparents were always a stable, consistent presence in my life. When I was a child, sick days were always spent at their home. My yia yia would make me toast with homemade raspberry jam, omelets with feta cheese, and mashed potatoes. I think out of all the things she ever cooked, her mashed potatoes were the only thing that wasn't made from scratch. She used boxed instant mashed potatoes, but even despite that, they were still the best mashed potatoes I ever tasted, and I could never replicate them myself.

My yia yia loved to socialize. Her home was always full of people, whether it be family, out of town visitors, or someone who dropped by to have coffee. She was the consummate hostess, there was always something to be served, always coffee to be brewed, always conversation to be had. She was very involved in the Houston Greek Festival. She was one of the little old ladies who worked behind the scenes to produce the massive amounts of food served at the festival. I am saddened by the fact that I won't ever have my yia yia's tiropitis (cheese puffs) again.

When my yia yia lost my papou (grandfather), she was beyond devastated. She spent the next five years having many conversations with him, even though ht was gone. She was certain that he could hear her. When I got a new car a couple of years ago, my yia yia gave me a picture of my papou to put in the glove compartment because according to her "Papou loved car trips, so he will take them with you."

My yia yia was a woman of great faith. She was a devout attendee of the Greek Orthodox church for most of her life. When I was diagnosed with cancer, she initially became infuriated with God, convinced (according to her) "he made a mistake." However, my yia yia couldn't stay made at God for very long, so she decided to pray my cancer away. She visited the Greek monestary outside of Houston almost weekly, asking for prayers, giving money, getting prayer bracelets. She made phone calls to the church in Greece, she asked for prayers in the church her, and she was certain that she and God were a team, and together they would make my cancer go away. Well, I sit here today cancer-free, so Yia Yia, you did a great job. To this day, my yia yia is the only woman over 90 I've ever seen wearing a Livestrong bracelet, and she wore it almost to her death.

My yia yia always hoped she would live to see one of her grandchildren get married. Unfortunately, that did not happen, but she was so happy when D and I got engaged. She loved him frmo the first moment they met, when he gently kissed her hand, a gesture that went beyond any language barriers that might exist. When she found out about the engagement and saw my ring, she immediately launched into when the wedding would be. We didn't have a date, said maybe sometime next year, and she gave me some of the sagest advice I have ever received: "No one is ever ready to get married, you just do it." I think that is a testament to how sharp her mind remained even though her body failed her.

The night before she passed, the whole family gathered together to say our goodbyes and make our peace. We didn't know when the end would come, but we knew it was soon. My yia yia had taken a turn for the worse, and couldn't really speak. I know she knew we were all there, and I think that gave her the peace she needed to let go. The next morning, with my aunt and my mother by her side, she took her last breath.

I am very sad, but I am also happy that she is no longer in pain. The last year of her life was very difficult because she was in poor health. I would like to think that my yia yia and my papou, the loves of each others lives, are together now, looking over all of us. I hope they are happy, and I know that their memory will live on with us forever.